College Life

Song Lyrics are Never Too Scandalous

(FOX 25 / MyFoxBoston.com) - If pop music is a part of growing up, then our kids are getting old quick.  It sounds cliché, until you really start to listen. These days if the lyrics aren’t edgy, chances are the song isn’t popular.  

Alright, Fox25, calm it down.  It’s music, and half of the time, nobody knows what the artist is saying anyways.  Then again, I was the little girl who would look up lyrics online that I didn’t know and make it a point to memorize them, but I digress…

My advice to parents is plain and simple.  If you don’t want your kids reciting the bubblegum pop lyrics of Katy Perry, Selena Gomez, and Joe Jonas, then stick to The Wiggles and Yo Gabba Gabba or whatever kids these days are in to.

What slander-filled music did I listen to as a kid?  All I know is, I grew up on artists such as the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, and Christina Aguilera, and then Ja Rule, City High and Ludacris in my more advanced early teen years when I became too hood for those softy boy bands and Mickey Mouse Club stars.

Look at me; I turned out just fine.  Blasting into my headphones all day were lyrics like “I got a fetish for f#*king you with your skirt on, on the backstreet in the backseat of my Yukon,” and “what would you do if your son was at home, cryin’ all alone on the bedroom floor cuz he’s hungry, and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money…”

The point is, I have never had a rendezvous with Ja Rule in the backseat of his Yukon, nor have I slept with a man for a little bit of money.

Like I said, if you don’t want your kids listening to the lyrics of Katy Perry that could be potentially harmful to their innocence, you better keep that CD of The Wiggles ready to go.  Of course, once the kids aren’t around you can go back to the perverted stylings of Lil Wayne.  Get a grip.

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Top 3 reasons why you shouldn’t keep an alien in your fridge for two years…

I don’t care if this is or is not in fact an extra-terrestrial, there are so many reasons why you should not keep what you perceive to be an alien in your fridge for two years, or even a day for that matter.

1.  You don’t know that that shit is definitely dead.  It’s a God damn alien.  Maybe it can put itself into a comatose state just so that Marta Yegorovnam’s dumb ass will bring it into her home for it to then terrorize.  Sci-fi movie in the making right there.  Steven Spielberg, take notes.

2. WHEN said alien wakes up from his sneaky coma in your fridge, he is going to eat all your food.  Say goodbye to leftovers from Grandma’s house.  She made fresh manicotti and meatballs, but your pet alien doesn’t give a shit about you…he is going to devour all’a'dat. You can also say goodbye to that red velvet cake.  Everyone knows aliens have a mean sweet tooth.  We’ve all seen E.T.

3. After waking up from coma and eating Grandma’s manicotti and meatballs, the alien WILL kill your ass.  Besides the aliens in Spice World, and even they copped a feel of Ginger or Scary or one of them, have you ever heard of a pleasant encounter with extra terrestrials?  No.  They abduct, strangle, stab, bite, eat your food, and kill you.  That’s about the extent of an alien’s capabilities.

The only reason you should keep an alien in your home is if you are 2397% positive they are going to become your personal slave.  Gotta raise ‘em right.

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California college students are living in mansions for CHEAP!

According to the NYDN, University of California, Merced students are living in mansions that have been foreclosed on for $200-350 each in monthly rent.

Why such cheap rentals?  The town of Merced was ranked the third hardest-hit area in the country for home foreclosures.

Amenities include:  5 or 6 bedrooms, many equipped with their own private bathrooms, Jacuzzi tubs, walk-in closets, and swimming pools.

The one question on my mind, are there any UC Merced students who need a roommate?  Don’t threaten me with a good time (or $200 rent).

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The doll house, blanket and Hot Wheels are inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame

The 2011 inductees into the Toy Hall of Fame last week were the doll house, the blanket, and Hot Wheels.  WTF? Alright, Hot Wheels, yeah I get it…but the doll house and the BLANKET?  I understand that the blankets were the key element to building forts in Grandma’s basement, but I am confused as to why the blanket gets to chill in the Toy Hall of Fame.

Inducted in past years were toys such as The Game of Life, Legos, Monopoly, Play Doh, Tinker Toys, Nintendo Gameboy, Etch a Sketch, and many genius inventions of the like.  Touche, Toy Hall of Fame; I see you.  However, on top of that, also claiming residency at the Toy Hall of Fame are the stick, and the cardboard box.  Talk about appreciating the simpler things in life, but I’m not buying it.

My Toy Hall of Fame would consist of:  the talking Power Rangers gloves, the Talk Boy (as seen in Home Alone), the Fisher Price red car, the Paperboy game for Sega Genesis, and Giga Pets.  Lezbehonest; if the toy choices were between a stick and Paperboy, I’d be slaying that paper route all day all night.

Side note:  Why hasn’t water been inducted yet?  If we’re giving sticks and blankets the honor, how can we neglect water like that?  Same thing goes for sand and dirt.  Sand castles and mud pies for days.  Get on your shit, Toy Hall of Fame.

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Broga

Bro + Yoga = “Broga,” co-founded by Robert Sidoti and Adam O’Niell.  They blended the terms “bro” and “yoga” to come up with their own variation of the practice.  Broga, by design, attracts men who have been hesitant to involve themselves in the world of yoga.  Classes are currently offered multiple times per week at locations in Somerville, MA and Martha’s Vineyard, but the co-founders are in the process of expanding this new phenomenon.

“This is not a dumbed down version of yoga. There’s a lot of movement linking the postures, but adding push-ups and variations of squats. People see the name ‘Broga’ and they think it’s just a bunch of idiots. But there’s integrity,’’ explains Sidoti.

Not for me…If you ask me, when I first saw the term “Broga” headlining this article, I thought to myself, what a bunch of assholes.  A room full of bulky, jerk-off jocks getting in their “bro-zone” without any women around.  The thought is nauseating.

Second thoughts, perhaps?  The more I read about it, and once I found out that the classes are also open to women, I was intrigued.  I have never been very much into yoga, but my attending of a Broga class, surrounded by strong men striking various poses and doing pushups and squats, hopefully leaving behind their douchebag tendencies, would be the equivalent of a guy attending a regular Yoga class, with women stretching in their Lululemons.  Sign everyone up!  Everyone is winning.

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Are the NBA and NBPA close to being on the same page?

“The NBA and the National Basketball Players Association negotiated Wednesday for eight hours past the league’s stated 5 p.m. ET deadline for a deal and made sufficient-enough progress to schedule another round of talks for Thursday.

Officials on both sides spoke modestly about what was achieved during a session that lasted 12 hours in total and cautioned against getting swept up in the latest wave of optimism around the league that a deal to finally end the 133-day lockout is near.”  -ESPN.com

NBA commissioner David Stern also said, “I would not read into this optimism or pessimism.  We’re not failing.  We’re not succeeding.  We’re just there.”

Alright, Dave, you’ve been “just there” for the past 133 days.  I was under the impression that if the 50.2% deal was not accepted, then that was it and the season would be undoubtedly cancelled, but apparently 12 hours later and still without a deal, the NBA and NBPA plan to meet again today.

All I want is to be able to enjoy a few road sodas while on my way to the Garden, spend too much on parking, and get rowdy in the last row of the balcony while starting a “LeBron is a bitch” chant…and I’d get strange looks if I did that last part at a Bruins game or the Jay-Z/Kanye concert.  So, please NBA, just give me this!  And if not, cancel the friggen season so I can get over it already.

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Kids turning down jobs because they can’t go on Facebook…

Recent studies show that more than half of college students throughout the world said that they would turn down a job offer if social media was banned from the workplace.

Additionally, 40% would even accept less money for a job that allowed the use of Facebook, Twitter, and websites of the like.

Two-thirds of college students also said that they would ask about social media usage policies during their interview.

Kids these days, huh?  Social media really is like crack for some people.  One would think that you’d  have to be a total moron to even be thinking about Facebook when you’re trying to get a job.  Like, are you for real?

I’m both appalled and embarrassed to be considered a member of this generation…then again, I’m getting paid to socially network all day.

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20 Kids and Counting

The Duggar family, currently stacked with 19 children and 2 grandchildren, appeared on the Today Show this morning and announced that Michelle, 45, is expecting their 20th child.

Are you friggen kidding me?

Father, Jim Bob, says of the situation; “I don’t know how it happened…we didn’t want to stop at an odd number.” Well, Jim Bob, I’ve got a pretty good idea how it happened.

I wonder how many kegels this woman has to do just to keep these babies from falling out?  She must just be constantly clenching, right?

Their current family consists of mother; Michelle, father; Jim Bob, and is fully loaded with children ages 23 to 1 year and 10 months.  The Duggar children are Joshua, Jana Marie, John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer, Jordyn-Grace, and Josie.

With the birth of their 20th child also comes the largest age gap between any two consecutive babies; 2 years and 4 months.  I wonder what “J” name they will come up with for this 20th gem.

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It’s all about King James

There have been speculation that the biggest loser regarding the NBA lockout is LeBron James.  These stories caught my interest because I thought they were calling LeBron a loser.  Turns out, people think he is the biggest loser in terms of having the most to lose without a 2011-12 NBA season.  Everyone’s all, “he has the most to prove and without this season he won’t be able to do so…” blah blah blah.

What gives anyone the right to claim LeBron will experience the largest loss in his career if there is no season?  Seems to me like these speculations must be coming from the most dedicated of his jock-riders, making it easy for them to claim that this was his year.  Every year has been “his year.”  Hasn’t he been trying to prove the same thing since he was the #1 draft pick back in 2003, and has been given plenty of opportunities with numerous playoff appearances, all while failing to come out with a ring?

In the event that the NBA does not have a 2011-12 season, I say we shut everyone up and give LeBron an honorary “this was your season” ring.

All I’m saying is that it’s pretty easy to predict a championship team/player when the season is still pending.  Then for the next 7 years we can hear about how if it weren’t for the 2011 lockout, LBJ would have a ring.

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Jersey Shore is Fake?

Tell us something we didn’t know…

Of course we as viewers know that many  of the elements and crazy drama on The Jersey Shore is fake or at least provoked, but does this alleged proof convince you that the entirety of the show is fake?

Fake or not, I am still going to watch the last season in Seaside, as well as all of the reruns from the past four seasons.  Regardless of the truth behind the stories and antics that take place, the producers are geniuses; the show is entertaining.  Not to mention, I have an inexplicable weakness for Pauly D.  Guy’s hilarious.

Will this news that The Shore is fake deter you from watching the last season? Stop lying to yourself. You know, just as well as I know, that the entire cast could out themselves as actors and actresses and you would still tune in every Thursday night to see Sitch bring home grenades and Deena drunkenly reveal her cookah, scripted or not.

They just better not come at me next with news that Pauly D’s blowout isn’t real either.

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